I have a set of beliefs about whether or not a homosexual lifestyle is sinful. Is it right for me to share that with my clients? Is it right for me to implicitly make them question the moral nature of their behavior, suggesting that it is inappropriate? Is it right for me to help them simply to behave however they want but free from guilt? I don't think any of these are correct. The following thoughts may not be helpful for those who do not think of homosexuality as sin, but for those who do, I hope it allows you to see how therapy can help a client without confronting them.
What is the role of a therapist? To alleviate mental illness. What is the role of a Christian therapist? To alleviate mental illness within the light of the presence of God. A therapist would simply want to help the gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender client transition into their new lifestyle in a manner that decreases their mental illness. A Christian therapist differs in two main ways. The first is by allowing the moral language of the client to unfold. The client may have ambivalent feelings towards their own behavior and these should not be stripped of their moral content. The second is by creating a longing for God. Regardless of the faith of the client, simply helping the client accept that the world is unjust can lead to enhanced spirituality. By keeping the moral language of the client and by fostering a spiritual longing, the therapist is actually helping the client learn a way of critical thinking and relating that allows them to continue to pursue God while still alleviating their mental illness.
Why shouldn't therapists confront "sinful behavior"? To some degree, the therapist's viewpoints will certainly escape at some point. However, direct confrontation can actually harm the work of therapy and can cause the client to retreat. By fostering the moral language and desire for spirituality in the client, the therapist may actually allow the client to become a more faithful follower of God than by directly challenging them. The client has almost certainly already heard that homosexuality is a sin, the therapist who reminds them disempowers clients from making their own decisions.
Therapists must also remain humble. I've heard the arguments that suggest that homosexuality is not a sin, teleologically and Scripturally, and they have some weight to them. I should not be so prideful to claim the truth without question. Finally, love towards our clients should underlie everything we do. Within our cultural context, many people with alternative sexual orientations are not willing to accept that their behavior is sinful. By remembering that God's kindness, not his condemnation, leads to repentance, we can show grace to all people.
2 comments:
thanks curt.
NARTH is an interting organisation with lots of research on whether 'change through therapy' is possible. as a chrisyian, i would argue that unbiblical behaviour is likely ultimately to lead to inner distress. after all, sin is only pleasurable for a while. it makes sense to offer christian therapy to those who are distressed due to sexuality. however there need to be two caveats:
1. many people who are distressed due to sexuality, homo or hetero or anything else, tend to also have many other reasons in their life for being distressed and it is hard to see which is secondary or primary
2. lots of people who would call themselves homosexual are not distressed/mentally-ill and i would argue that unless they are that many modern therapy tools will not be applicable and only a moral stance will be relevant.
what do you think?
Thanks Biby, glad to have you.
Rob, I checked out the NARTH website and I think it's a great resource with some interesting articles, so thanks.
As for your point, I would agree with what I think is your point, that homosexual lifestyles will lead to distress. However, I don't expect that all homosexuals will be able to see that distress, or to even connect it with their lifestyle (rather than society's ill treatment of homosexuals). I don't expect that for adulterers either because thought patterns can become so twisted by our strong sexual desires.
For your first point, I think that sexual issues are definitely entangled with other issues. For sex addicts there is usually a good deal of loneliness and anger that need to be dealt with. Then sexual abuse and rape is more common among homosexuals, so those experiences can complicate it as well. I think it is important to join with the client with those issues first before addressing any concerns about their sexual orientation or sexual behaviors.
For the second point, I wonder why clients would be seeing a therapist if they weren't distressed about something. For clients with minimal distress, I would not shy away from a moral stance but I would first try to minimize the client's defenses regarding their sexual orientation. That just seems practical in order to have the rapport to be heard by the client.
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