Fortress vs. Comforter

            In psychological research and treatment, there are two main camps in regards to how to help people who are suffering with anxiety. One side argues for containing the anxiety, or keeping it from getting out of control. Those who take this stance will teach relaxation techniques, coping skills, and other ways to lessen anxiety. The other side holds that, because we can never completely end our anxiety, learning to tolerate our anxiety is more important. Therapists who take this position will try to heighten the anxiety, at times, to help the client learn that they need not give in to their anxiety because it will not destroy them.

            The debate is significant because it really harkens back to our true nature as human beings. Are we merely physical creatures or do we have a spirit that can overcome our body? I think the answer is that we are both. Jesus came and healed bodies but he also encouraged his followers to overcome persecution with prayer. Paul appealed his case on the grounds of his Roman citizenship because he did not need to suffer needlessly. God is our fortress, who protects us from the pain outside, but He also is the one who walks beside us, even as He allows us to go through suffering sometimes.

            In therapy, you will hopefully gain the ability to shield yourself from some of the pain in your life. All the while, my hope is that you will also gain the capacity to stand strong in the face of turmoil, trials, and suffering. Together, you can gain a sense that God is both a fortress and a comforter.

Personality and Calling

            Understanding personality has been essential to psychology since its founding. Theorists have spent countless hours investigating commonalities and particularities of being human. This has led to numerous tests being developed: Myers-Briggs, 16PF, Strengths Finder, etc. Most of the research has been devoted to understanding personality traits, which are relatively stable patterns of behavior. However, until fairly recently, the instability of personality traits, along with other ways of understanding personality, have been regularly overlooked.

            In reality, classifying people into broad strokes has been largely ineffective. Of course, some people tend to be introverted while others tend to extroverted, but we have neglected that introverts can sometimes “rise to the occasion” while extroverts need “time to unwind by themselves.” The growing recognition about personality is that our traits are not as global as we would like to think. In fact, our personality is largely contextual. So, while you may think of yourself as being very introverted, but perhaps you have only accommodated to situations where you were either uncomfortable or surrounded by those more extroverted than yourself. Thus, by talking about traits, we may lose sight of just how adaptable we can be.

            The other big challenge to understanding personality is to move beyond patterns of behavior. You are not limited to what you do right now. Your self-concept, or personality, is also shaped by your past and present. People understand themselves in the light of their personal narrative, or life story, and view themselves through the lens of their unique life. Life events shape us into the people we are. Beyond just our past, we are also people who are driven by goals to be something other than what we are right now. Sometimes these goals can even be in conflict with our personality traits, such as goals to be more adventurous when we tend to be fairly conscientious.

            Alongside all of this psychology, we also must not neglect our spirituality. Who has God created us to be and what are our spiritual gifts? I believe that God does not provide only a general call to our entire life but also a specific calling for particular moments. Sometimes these moments may be within our comfort zone for our personality traits but other times we must face our fears and accomplish something beyond ourselves with God’s help. I believe that everyone has spiritual gifts that they can use to contribute to others within their community. I pray that you are never limited by your so-called personality traits, life history, or outlook for the future but that you may find your calling and pursue that vision with all of your being.

Friendship

            In these Facebook days, the idea of what a friend is has been quickly evolving. Nowadays, a friend is anyone whom we feel comfortable seeing our profile page. Of course, that is hardly the definition of a friend, let alone an acquaintance. I have even heard a research report suggest that the number of real friends that Americans have is actually shrinking as the digital age progresses. Now, I don’t expect that friendship will disappear completely, though, because we are designed to need contact with others and we become depressed and anxious without it.

            Although we may be created for human interaction, that should not suggest that friendship will always feel natural. Friendship is difficult. It is hard to be a good friend and it is hard to find a good friend. Friendship means that we keep someone alive in our heart; they exist for us even while we are away from them. In keeping them alive in our minds, we are pressed into action: to pray for them, to call them, and to be of service for them when they are in need. To be a friend means that we are continually in debt to love someone more than they might love us in return.

            Today, I challenge you to think of someone with whom you have lost touch. Pray for them and perhaps even call them on the phone (much better than sending a text, by the way). You may actually find that, despite the lack of contact, they may just enjoy the fact that you have thought of them.

A Prodigal God?

I have recently been reading “The Prodigal God” by Timothy Keller. The idea of calling God prodigal seems like heresy until you realize that many of us, myself included, have assumed that prodigal meant “wayward.” Actually that is not the case. Prodigal actually means “recklessly spendthrift” or someone who is careless with what belongs to them. And isn’t that true of God? He was so reckless that he gave His Son, Jesus, to die for us so that we may be restored to Him.

Perhaps we can be thankful today for a God who is so reckless, so prodigal, in His grace for us! (Originally written February 2012)

Rekindling Your Creative Spirit

God is a creator. God created the Heavens and the Earth. And God created you in His own image. Doesn’t that mean that God has created you to be creative, too?

As children, our imaginations ran wild, creating new identities for ourselves and picturing new possibilities for what could be. We were cowboys, princesses, superheroes, and spies who could accomplish anything and who were adored by all. Yet, as adults, we often lose that creativity as our hearts get broken. We create a single definition of who we are: our career, our family, or our “stuff.” We lose out on the flexibility that creativity allows. Instead of staying open to what the future might bring, we get locked into a lifestyle of mediocrity. In essence, we are slaves in exile from what we are truly called to be by God.

Psalms 126:1-2 reads:

When the Lord brought back the captive ones of Zion,

      We were like those who dream.

Then our mouth was filled with laughter

      And our tongue with joyful shouting;

Then they said among the nations,

      “The Lord has done great things for them.”

When the Israelites returned to their homeland from being in captivity, they started to dream. Laughter and joy were restored when they regained their creative spirit.

Consider your own life. Are you dreaming dreams that bring laughter and joy? Or are you trapped in exile, separated from your imagination? I hope that you may rekindle that creative spirit that God has placed within you, that you may bring your unique voice and gifts into the world.

Satisfaction and the Mindful Eater

If the last blog post made you worried that mindfulness was just a boring technique to distract you from the pleasure of eating, think again. Many people actually enjoy food more when they practice mindful eating. When you notice the subtle tastes and smells of food, eating starts to become a truly satisfying experience.

Don’t believe me? Let’s try an experiment. Grab a single raisin, if you have one available. If not, another small piece of natural food could be used, such as an almond. Now, before you place the raisin in your mouth, see what it smells like. Try to imagine the raisin hanging from a vine as a grape and how it dried up underneath the hot sun. As you place the raisin on your tongue, notice the immediate taste and try to see what bouquet of flavors emerge. Be mindful of how the raisin feels in your mouth and against your teeth. Whenever the raisin starts to lose your interest, you may swallow it but notice what it feels like as it goes down your throat and into your stomach.

Now tell me, was that a satisfying experience? Was your attention captured and your senses fully enlivened? That is how enjoyable mindful eating can be. Don’t worry, you don’t have to spend a whole minute on each bite. But by paying attention to your senses you will likely find yourself enjoying your food more. And what if you suddenly relapse into normal eating? Do not criticize yourself, you’re simply human. Just try to bring your brain back onto manual control and allow yourself to become fully aware of what you are eating once again.

Bon appétit!

1 Corinthians 10:31: “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

Mindful Eating

Mindful eating refers to the practice of remaining aware and attentive to feelings of hunger and fullness, to thoughts about food and eating, and to the sensations of smell, taste, and texture. Mindful eating does not begin when you put a bite into your mouth. It is an ongoing practice that you can do any minute of the day.

Try it right now: how does your stomach feel? Do you notice any discomfort? Any pleasure? Have you thought about food since you started reading? Do you want to eat right now?

Do you have any lingering tastes in your mouth? Can you smell any food? What does your mouth feel like?

These sorts of questions are characteristic of mindful eating but mindful eating is not about having the right answer to these questions but simply being attentive to the signals that your body is sending and whether your brain is sending a different signal. For example, many people continue to eat after they are full. They either eat too quickly for their stomachs to send the message that they are full or they simply do not pay attention to these signals. Mindful eating means paying attention to what you are sensing and feeling so that you can eat the amount of food that your body needs.

Hebrews 12:11: “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”