Response to Christians who Counsel

Here are my personal thoughts on Chapters 1 - 3 of Christians who Counsel. Anderson's anthropology of humanity is one of the great strengths of his approach. Many who have discarded psychology, even Christian psychology, have lacked the insight into how human beings are "not good" when they are alone. We are created to become fully alive when we are in communion with others. Beginning here helps us challenge views of spirituality that claim that a relationship with God is sufficient for our growth as humans and as followers of Christ. This is where counseling can come in.

Counseling (which I will use as an equivalent term for therapy) states that all of our problems in life do not stem from spiritual issues. An example would be a young man who was physically and sexually abused as a child and who now acts out with sexual promiscuity and angry outbursts but is depressed and believes that he is worthless. A spiritual response would state that he needs to connect with God through prayer, accept his forgiveness, and be transformed by studying God's word. However, this would ignore the fact that he has not learned to have healthy relationships with other people. His sexuality is intertwined with his low view of himself and with his inability to cope with the pain in his life. And his view of himself will affect his spirituality and not just the converse.

A view of humanity that sees spirituality as being affected by social, personal, and sexual aspects will not dogmatically hold on to relationship with God as being supreme. God has created human beings to have dominion over the world and to live in loving relationships with others. While spirituality should never be downplayed, the more common approach is to overemphasize spirituality while neglecting the other realms. However, Christian therapists will sometimes overreact to this approach by neglecting the spiritual aspect of living. We do need to live in God's grace and forgiveness and in constant relation with him in all we do, think, and say. This model reminds those who counsel that spirituality IS an important part of emotional life and should not be downplayed.

As for the place of the agogic moment, where the three components, motive power, intermediary, and response, define growth while the hermeneutic moment is put on the sidelines, I have a couple problems. While I believe that it is true that creating an environment of love and parity between therapist and client is beneficial, I don't believe that it is always necessary. Those who are relatively healthy have the capacity to accept condescending advice and integrate it into their lives. Doing so is more difficult, because the person needs to remove the advice from the advisor, but it is possible. We have the capacity to grow through experiences with ourself, where we open ourselves up to the need for growth and can recognize growth promoting ways of thinking and acting, even when they come from non-equal sources. I do believe that people can change from listening to a sermon, though it is much less likely. This may be a mute point but I think it needs to be said. An agogic moment is not always required.

Finally, I think that Anderson's model lacks a theology of shame. If our starting point is creation then there must be at least some discussion of the fall. Humans now have a sense of shame in their lives, a pain that makes them feel that something has gone wrong in the world and in themselves. This pain is present in every single person but you wouldn't know it from Anderson's model. We all react not only to love that has been shown to us but also the the pain that is oppressing us. A person in pain will try to numb themselves in many ways. But they may also, after finding temporary solutions to the pain to be just that, realize that true growth will bring about healing. Pain, like love, can be a motivator for growth.

I hope these thoughts show my general satisfaction with Anderson's model and are taken as possibilities for what can be added. So far Anderson's approach as a theologian, rather than a psychologist, has been quite helpful.

Partnering for Growth

Chapter 3 of Christians who Counsel centers on the position that the possibility for growth is opened up when the client perceives that the therapist is a partner in the growth process. As Carl Rogers has often made clear, therapy involves removing the obstacles that were hindering process for growth. Thus, Anderson argues that the capacity for growth is within the person rather than from the therapist. But first of all the nature of growth is clarified as: integrative, relational, and open to change. The therapist, unlike the doctor who focuses only on the physical realm or the pastor who teaches only closeness with God, is concerned about integrating all the areas of our life. Asking questions like - how does my spiritual life affect my physical life? and vice versa - the Christian who counsels can facilitate wholeness in all realms of being. The therapist will also help the client develop relational closeness in the room and with others in order to facilitate new experiences of the self and others. The third aspect of growth is openness to change. Although openness to change is itself a consequence of growth, the role of this openness needs to be highlighted because it will, in turn, promote more growth.

But how does this growth occur? Rather than arguing that the therapist causes the client to grow in a stimulus-response manner, Anderson argues that the therapist merely creates situations for growth. Within the therapy room, two important moments are described. The first is the "hermeneutic moment," or aha! moment, where the client is able to change the way s/he looks at him/herself. The second is the "agogic moment" where the client gains a motive for change from an experience with the therapist that creates change. The agogic moment is where true growth occurs. It is a situation where the therapist places herself as equal with the client. Hermeneutic moments are often necessary, but never sufficient, to create an agogic moment.

As mentioned above, an agogic moment is created when the therapist and the client are perceived as equal human beings. This equality is the humanization of the client. The client no longer feels inferior and can have a real relational moment. To create this atmosphere, the therapist must engage the client wherever they are and enter into that experiential space. As the therapist attempts to do this, the client can see the therapist as a partner in the growth process rather than invader of the client's space.

Finally, the power of growth is that of love. As I pointed out in my look at Chapter 1, humans were created to be in relationship with one another. We are created to be set in motion towards growth by others. Anderson writes, "The power of selfhood is response power." The overwhelmingly most important aspect of therapy is to create an environment where the client feels loved and cared for. It is only in this situation that any growth can occur.

Summary:
1) Growth is integrative, relational, and open to change.
2) Growth occurs in the agogic moment, where the motive to change is released.
3) The counselor is an equal partner in this growth.
4) Love is the fundamental ingredient to produce change.

Climbing Mountains

Last Sunday I hiked Mount Whitney. This 22 mile hike to the highest point in the lower 48 states was a grueling, intense accomplishment. But I had the advantage that I knew what to expect and I knew when it would be over. But sometimes life brings us mountains that remain in front of us for months and even years. Those types of mountains are the ones that truly test our perseverance and character.

I would like to think that climbing Mount Whitney proves that I am a tenacious and persevering man. But the truth is that my character is tested more often in the day to day. Just today I sat idly by while letting my dad and brother work on the sink, knowing that I had been asked a week ago to fix a broken faucet. And yesterday I spent about 4 or 5 hours on the Internet looking at clips from a TV show.

These seemingly small character flaws are my real mountains. I have long disliked my own tendencies to be lazy and unhelpful but progress in these areas has been slow. Times of growth have been thwarted by backsliding to old habits. The humbling truth is that I have not given myself completely to change in these areas. My true character has been revealed. But I like to think that, even if I have idled for awhile or even retreated, that I can head back up the mountain and make another attempt to change.

Is My Education Making Me a Better Person?

If you count Kindergarten, I have been in school for 20 years. And since I still have four years ahead of me until I get my doctorate, I guess you can say that I'm a believer in education. But while I believe all this education will open up career options for me, I still have to question whether or not I am becoming a better person out of all this time in school. I regularly visit a blog by a psychologist who is a professor at Biblical Seminary and he wrote a personal apology for a statement he made in a class. One sentence captures the message well, "Seminary education can be rather dangerous."

As a student of both psychology and theology I can relate. I can often feel the pull towards smugness and pride whenever I get into a conversation on either topic and perhaps I should apologize to those who I have vainly given my opinion to as fact (and sometimes rather insensitively). Education can make you feel empowered and that can indeed be dangerous. I think it's good to be critical - to know your weaknesses - and that is no less true for ventures where you are pouring your time and money into. I must critically ask myself if my education is making me a better person.

I've noticed, paradoxically, that learning makes me both more open-minded and closed-minded. At times writing position papers, learning theory, or criticizing theology can make me choose sides and suddenly my views are the "right" views. But there are also times when I, as a result of my psychological training, can see that where a person is coming from is more important than what they are saying. I can see their side because I can sense their passion, pain, or fear about an issue. It can often depend on my mood whether or not I am close-minded with others and perhaps the work ahead of me is to better control my mood.

Beyond that, I believe that the trials of being evaluated and stretched have forced me to develop a better work ethic. While in college I could skate along with a mediocre work ethic, I find myself needing (and occasionally desiring) to work hard and become the best psychologist I can be. I also have learned how to balance my life with school, work, social events, and time to relax. And of course everything I learn about people in my classes I can apply to myself.

So, indeed I would say: yes, my education is making me a better person. But I know that it doesn't always do so. In the past two years I have managed to stave off burnout and hopelessness (for the most part). Perhaps that is because in those dark times where I feel so stressed out, I usually take a minute and see how this is all shaping me to become the person I want to be. If I did not have those times of renewal, and the people who encourage me on, I could easily become bitter and my education would be my downfall. Although I wish at times I could be in a steady 40 hour week and making money, I am thankful for the opportunity that has been set before me. God has brought me this far, he will lead me on.

The Perfectionist

Over the last few days I have been reflecting on the fact that I can have a tendency to be a perfectionist in quite a few areas. I try to get A's in all my classes. I hate doing anything half hearted. I'm just an "all out" kind of guy. Of course, in many areas I am far off from perfection and how I deal with those areas is actually kind of interesting. I can sometimes devalue that part of my life (it's not that big of a deal to keep your room clean) or pretend like it's impossible to get any better with that (acting like it's impossible for me to remember names any better). Now perfectionism is useful in driving us to perform well but it can become a problem when life becomes unbalanced or when we are crippled by the perfectionism in some way.

Now I had been thinking that I would like to be more helpful around the house. But the problem was I had only been thinking about it. I started to think about committing to a drastic change but something was holding me back. At first I didn't have a clue what was wrong. I wanted to be a nicer, more caring person but I didn't want to commit to it. The problem was, as a perfectionist, I was afraid that I was going to fail. If I committed to change then I would be raising the bar for my own standards of how I should act.

My perfectionism couldn't handle this. I could deal with being disappointed with my behavior from time to time. But raising the standard would likely mean that I would fail more, at least at first. So deep down I resisted the change because I was afraid to fail. Once someone pointed this out to me everything suddenly clicked. I realized that I couldn't accept that I am a work in progress. I should applaud myself for wanting to change and not be deterred by initial setbacks. I was glad because once this perfectionism was brought to the light, the truth suddenly made it seem silly.

Perhaps my case is not unique. Could there be ways in which you resist change simply because you fear failure? Maybe you tried before and failed. No matter how many times we fail, it is always important to try to live up to a greater standard. Sometimes we simply need to remind ourselves that our goals are worth the pain of a few setbacks.