Emotions: Are they Good or Bad? (Part 1 of 4)

All people have emotions. Some people display them in the stereotypical manners, like crying when sad, smiling when happy, and scowling when angry. In fact, nearly all children will openly show these emotions. However, some people become adept at either hiding their emotions or at covering up their emotions with other reactions, such as smiling when they feel sad. These people often believe that their emotions are illogical, immature, or embarrassing. So I want to spend some time answering the question: are emotions good or bad?

In terms of emotional pain, we all know that some emotions, like joy, are experienced as “good” and that other emotions, like fear or disgust, are felt as “bad” or unpleasant. There are times when we may wish we felt numb, rather than have the pain of our emotions as companions. Yet, just because we find some emotions unpleasant does not mean that they are not good or useful. Physical pain is unpleasant but it nonetheless helps us pull our hand away from a hot stove. So, is it possible that our emotions, even the unpleasant ones, may actually be serving a purpose?  I believe they do, or at least that they are supposed to be serving a purpose.

The purpose of emotions is two-fold; emotions allow us to communicate our needs and emotions drive our actions. Expressing our emotions will generally help others know how to interact with us. Expressing sadness will generally bring others who will comfort us. Expressing anger will help keep others from taking advantage of us. Without emotions, there is nothing drawing people toward one another. I have never been concerned about how my computer feels.

Our emotions also allow us to see what we enjoy and what we do not enjoy. Emotions are the motivating force that keep us from apathy and that drive us to accomplish our goals. The books of Psalms, Lamentations, and Job, as well as the example we have in Jesus, who wept at the loss of his friend Lazarus, show us that emotions serve a good purpose. Thoughts alone do not motivate our behavior. If I think a bear will eat me, but do not fear being eaten alive, I will not do anything to keep myself safe. Emotions accomplish what thoughts alone cannot.

However, problems with emotions can arise when our emotional reactions become maladaptive or unhelpful. Feelings of hopelessness, rage, and despair are reactions that may actually cause tremendous problems in our lives. In other words, emotions that were meant to bring us life can sometimes break down and lead us down dangerous paths. So, in light of this, I will be spending some time discussing emotions and how to better understand them in the coming blog posts. Many of these reflections are influenced by the book, “Working with Emotions in Psychotherapy” by Leslie Greenberg and Sandra Pavio.