Eros - the erotic love

Originally posted June 24th, 2005.

Well I'm reading The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis and right now I'm in the good stuff... being "in love." I guess my subject line might be a little misleading because eroticism is so often tied with being unabashedly sexual. But Lewis defines it in the romantic sense (calling sex Venus instead). He described Eros as the type of love that is most "natural" or fleshly and carnal or instinctive. Now that is neither positive nor negative because though it almost seems most animal, it is also somewhat Biblical because Christ is often described as the bridegroom and the church (or Christians) as the bride. The sexual connotations there are rather blatant - Christ entering our hearts - a spiritual sex.
I was impressed by Lewis on several levels. The first was simply out of pure stereotyping because I supposed Lewis to be a prude but in fact he spoke openly of sex (or Venus) as something to be enjoyed and not taken too seriously. I almost expected him to view sex as necessary for reproduction and pleasure was merely a sidenote but once again he has surprised me. I was also surprised when I read Confessions by St. Augustine and saw the natural desires and conflictions about sex had not changed in the 1600 years since he lived. The second issue that impressed me was that Lewis, who was close friends with many literary giants, like J.R.R. Tolkien, admitted that friendship was both a source of good and evil. Something to the extent of: friendship brings good out of good people and evil out of bad people. But not only that but that a good friendship will rightly ignore some of what is outside of the group but will often wrongly ignore ALL of what is outside the group. The group elitism that is present within gangs and terrorist cells is present within the most "righteous" religious cliques.
The lessons are that first I should have a greater respect for being "in love" which I have often undermined as cheap emotion and wrongly believed that true love is only friendship love. The second is that I should not push others away simply because I am comfortably within a group of friends. There is certainly more that I have learned but it's more than I should share on a blog so I will whet your appetite with what I have shared. Oh and... C.S. Lewis rocks!